1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,039 This programme contains very strong language from the start. 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,839 Um, what about lunch? Well, I mean, do you go out? 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,840 Is there, um, is there a canteen, or...? 4 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:13,359 Well, is there a Pret nearby? 5 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:15,600 CHUCKLES 6 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:15,599 There's not even a Pret? 7 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:16,760 Um... 8 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,319 Off. Off. Off. 9 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,399 No, no, no. No, Jamie. 10 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,719 Um, no, I'm, I'm not nervous, I just... Well, I don't know, 11 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,560 it's a new job. 12 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,559 HE CHUCKLES 13 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,959 Well, I mean, you're used to that place. 14 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:34,039 For me, it's... Well, it's, it's not new exactly 15 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,359 but it's, um... Well, it's newish. HE CHUCKLES 16 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:40,479 I'm totally fine. Yeah. 17 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:41,919 Yeah. 18 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,039 Oh, um, there is one other thing I wanted to ask. 19 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:46,759 Um... 20 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:50,199 ..should I take any precautions, or...? 21 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,279 Well, I don't know, I mean it is...it's a prison, so... 22 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,680 I suppose I'm just asking - how safe is it? 23 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,479 Yeah, I'll take these. 24 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,559 OK. 25 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,239 Do you want to wear them out? 26 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:18,759 I can bin these if you want. 27 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:22,079 No, no, I'm, going on a date later tonight, so... 28 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,359 Right. 29 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,040 In these? 30 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,960 Yeah. No, um, bin those. 31 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,039 Ah. 32 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,280 UNDER BREATH: Fuck me. 33 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,239 Is it the same girl that I met? 34 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,959 Yeah, yeah. Jess. 35 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,359 She's nice. 36 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,919 Wow, emotional. 37 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,199 I mean, I'm tearing up. 38 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,039 What is it, two months now? It's long-term for you, innit? 39 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,199 Oh, God, look at him. He's doing a shit. 40 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,559 Oh, God, I love that expression. 41 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,040 DAN LAUGHS 42 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,039 Look at it. 43 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,300 Like, the concentration. 44 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,880 HE SIGHS 45 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,360 How did you get that one, Lee? 46 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,559 Oh, yeah. 47 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,319 That's where the knife came out. 48 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,440 Oh, bloody hell! 49 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,679 It was a father and a son. I owed 'em money. 50 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,479 I remember waking up in this empty industrial kitchen. 51 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,279 I saw 'em and then I heard the sound of the knife sharpening... 52 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,399 - Oh, my God! - ..and then I thought, "Fuck." 53 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,559 Dad, he says, "Right, where do you want to get stabbed?" 54 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:30,839 I'm like, "Well no-fucking-where." 55 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,559 And then he swings the knife like that and he says, 56 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,399 "I said, where do you want to get fucking stabbed?" 57 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,239 I said, "Well, my leg'" 58 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,839 What? You said the leg, then he just fucking...? 59 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,079 Yeah. He shoved it right up to the handle. 60 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,319 No, it weren't too bad at first. 61 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,279 I looked down, I thought, eh, it felt like getting punched. 62 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,319 But then the son, he runs over and he kicks it. 63 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,759 - Oh, Jesus! - Oh, my God. 64 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,879 I, like, screamed my guts out. 65 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,759 They start panicking, they're shouting 66 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,439 they're going to cut my throat if I don't stop, but I can't. 67 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,559 I physically cannot stop screaming, right? 68 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,719 Like, my face is saying, "Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, it's mad, innit?" 69 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,839 But my mouth is like, "Argh..." 70 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:03,999 Then what happened? 71 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,319 Then they dumped me on some estate. 72 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,999 And I pass out, and I wake up, crawl and pass out, wake up, crawl. 73 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,480 And then one time I wake up and I'm in hospital. 74 00:03:13,481 --> 00:03:16,079 Don't know how you're still here. 75 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,040 Oh, he's the reason I'm still here - little man. 76 00:03:19,761 --> 00:03:22,599 Do you want to look at his poo? 77 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:23,920 Absolutely. 78 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,560 Wahey! Yeah. 79 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,519 Does it scare you? Being a dad? 80 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,399 Nah, I'm three years clean, Dan. 81 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,520 No, no, I don't mean that. I mean, you know, our upbringing. 82 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,799 Nah. Way I see it, every generation gets its chance to change. 83 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,439 You know, me and you, we're ours. 84 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:48,800 Hmm. 85 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,359 - Can I ask YOU something? - Mm-hm. 86 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,439 Why'd you get a fucking job in prison? 87 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,439 Well, it's just a job. 88 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:58,519 Was it cos of me? 89 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,479 No. 90 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:01,679 Dad? 91 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,399 Dad? No! Fuck, no. 92 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,039 No. 93 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,679 God, no. 94 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,919 Not seen him for 25 years. 95 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,360 If it was another 25, that'd still be too soon. 96 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,439 Then, why? 97 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,399 Well... 98 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:22,840 ..I don't know. 99 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,719 Do you think I'd be a good dad? 100 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,080 You? Yeah, you'd be a great dad. Why? 101 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:31,720 Just wondering. 102 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,439 That is not a good idea. 103 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:55,879 No, but if I could just, widen the toecap. 104 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,559 See there's...there's, like, a steel bit here. 105 00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,920 I'm just going to try and... 106 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,519 ..widen. 107 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,440 LOUD TAPPING 108 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,439 Dan. Dan. 109 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,759 That is going to go horribly wrong. 110 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:10,810 Oh, fuck. 111 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,960 Oh, I think I've bent the cap. Fuck. 112 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,490 - Feels like there's a blade in there. - Oh. 113 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:21,119 OK, this would really reflect very well on you right now 114 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,639 if you resisted the temptation to say... 115 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,079 I told you so. 116 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,999 Yeah. 117 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,759 KEYS CLACK 118 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,479 Hello. 119 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,919 - Stop. - What? 120 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,519 That. I need to finish this. 121 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:36,319 Yeah, but if you give me sex, then the prisoners might respect me. 122 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,279 Oh, I think your um, blade-y toecap boots will achieve that, don't you? 123 00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:40,480 Yeah. 124 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,919 You going to go into the office today? 125 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,759 Uh, yeah. Yeah, I am in the morning. 126 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,520 Um, and then I'm... I'm going to the IVF clinic. 127 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,359 Oh, right. 128 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,560 OK. 129 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,520 Dan, I did tell you. 130 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:03,839 No, I know you did. 131 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:06,119 Like, on our first date. It was, it was quite up front. 132 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,559 Yeah, you were. No, I know you were. 133 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,440 You were... I just thought... 134 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,130 So who's the dad? 135 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,079 Donor, not dad. 136 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,320 I've never met him. 137 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,599 He's, um. He's mid-20s. 138 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,519 Got dark hair. Athletic, apparently. 139 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,959 Oh, an athlete? Oh, nice. 140 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,799 Are you jealous? Of a man I've literally never met? 141 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,799 Yeah, still, I feel like, if I ever met him, I'd have to... 142 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,599 ..beat the living shit out of him. 143 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,760 JESS LAUGHS 144 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,130 Hey... 145 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,200 ..so what about, like, me? 146 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,439 As the donor. 147 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,079 - Jesus Christ. - I could be a dad. No, it's some... 148 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,439 - Dan... - It's something that I've thought about a lot. 149 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,959 We've known each other for eight weeks! 150 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,279 Well, I've thought about it lots ever since you first mentioned it, 151 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,359 and I...I feel like maybe now... 152 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,279 - Maybe now, what? - Well, I don't know. 153 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,999 What, now some woman you've slept with six times is trying to have 154 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,999 - a baby, you've decided she's the one? - No, not, not THE one... 155 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,199 Oh, NOT the one - just a one? 156 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,719 A one with a reproductive system. 157 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,159 Is this because your brother's had a baby? 158 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,039 No, I. It's... I just... 159 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,239 Can't we just take some time to think about it? 160 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,919 No! 161 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,119 No, the embryo's at blastocyst. 162 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,639 It's ready to go in, today. 163 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,319 What time's your appointment? 164 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,359 - It's at 3:15 but I'm... - OK. 165 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,399 Call in sick, stay here, think about it, 166 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,119 and if we both think it's worth a go, then we can go to 167 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,559 - the appointment together. - This is not a fucking game. 168 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,919 OK, Jess, honestly, ever since you first told me about it, 169 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,639 I haven't been able to think of anything else. 170 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,959 And I have wanted to mention it, I just didn't know how. 171 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,250 I didn't know that it was...coming up this quick. 172 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,920 I just know that you're going to make an amazing mum. 173 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,200 So maybe we could do it together? Try it together? 174 00:07:51,201 --> 00:07:55,919 And if we don't work out, you can just sue me for child support. 175 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:56,959 SHE TUTS 176 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,119 Now, see, I don't need to sue you for child support, though, do I? 177 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,799 - I was joking. - Cos I make literally five times your salary. 178 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,359 - Yeah, OK. - Yeah. 179 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:03,919 SHE CHUCKLES 180 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,439 I get a little break at lunch today at 12. 181 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,280 Can I call you then? 182 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,479 You'll call me? 183 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,119 Mm-hm, yeah. 184 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,600 Midday. I'll call. 185 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:52,679 Sorry, I have to make quite an important call today at 12. 186 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,719 Well, you're down to finish at 1:45, so... 187 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,319 Oh, right. I can't take my phone in? 188 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,840 What, in there? In that prison? 189 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,279 OK. Can I come back here? 190 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,119 I'd have to sign you out and back in again. 191 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,559 Look, ask your duty officer during your break. 192 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,399 Maybe they can arrange an escort back. 193 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,590 - It is... It is quite an important call... - Ask your duty officer, OK? 194 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,210 BUZZER 195 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,839 I did leave my phone in the locker, didn't I? 196 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,760 I don't know. Did you leave your phone in your locker? 197 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,439 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 198 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,199 - Good. - I did. - You don't want to 199 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,639 A phone past here is automatic prosecution. 200 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,479 Automatic. 201 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,530 Yeah. 202 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,839 No, I did, I did. I put it in. I put it in. 203 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,280 I'm going to check. 204 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,600 Yeah. Yes. It was... 205 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,560 BUZZER 206 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,960 WHIRRING 207 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,520 LIVELY CHATTER 208 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,650 What the fuck do you think you're going to do with them? 209 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,520 What are you doing here? 210 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:47,490 These are men. 211 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,200 They won't get you, boy. 212 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,480 These are fucking men. 213 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,210 Dan? 214 00:12:58,351 --> 00:13:02,159 - Hey. LAUGHS: - You coming in or what?! 215 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,210 Yeah. 216 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,080 JAMIE CHUCKLES 217 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,239 - UNDER BREATH: Oh, fuck. - Are you OK? 218 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,439 Yeah, yeah. Just new shoes. 219 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:14,799 Oh, you poor love. 220 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,960 Oh, fuck off, Jamie. It hurts. 221 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,559 So, first day. 222 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,239 - Yeah. - It's going to be fine. 223 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,119 I think they're really going to respond to you. 224 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,999 Now, I don't know how many there'll be. 225 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,919 It could be four, it could be 14 - 226 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:30,559 it depends what's happening on landings - 227 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:33,039 but I looked over your lesson plan and I think it's really good. 228 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,679 - Cool. - I took the liberty of jotting some visual aids up here 229 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,520 for you to use. 230 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,880 No, no. I want to change it, Jamie. 231 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,879 Make it easier. 232 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,840 These men, I want them to get me. 233 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,239 - OUTSIDE: - Quieten down. Free flow! 234 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:07,290 DOOR UNLOCKS 235 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,799 Psychology? 236 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,800 Um, no. Philosophy. 237 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,999 Er, maybe you could introduce yourselves as you enter? 238 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,479 - I'm Malik. - Macca. - No. 239 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,279 I already came in, boss. Shall I go out and come back in again? 240 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,759 What we doing? 241 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,240 Introducing ourselves as we enter. 242 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,519 - Hi. - Zac, where you going? 243 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,399 We've to go out and come back in again. Boss. 244 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,319 - What? - Sorry, no. That's not what I... 245 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,719 Once they're in, please keep them in. Please. 246 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,599 - OK. - Pleasure to make your acquaintance. 247 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:46,719 Junior. 248 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,650 - Junior. - I'm an entrepreneur, yeah? 249 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,800 No more circus tricks, please. 250 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,199 Um... 251 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,250 DOOR LOCKS 252 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:07,120 So, do we just start, or...? 253 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,359 OK. I, um, would like to begin with a problem 254 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:22,239 that's been around for a very long time. 255 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,960 Um...what makes you you? 256 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:31,479 Is the you from ten years ago the same you that sits in this room now? 257 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,719 No, cos he ain't in fucking prison. 258 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:34,919 SCATTERED CHUCKLES 259 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,919 Traditionally there are two schools of thought on this. 260 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,999 There's the Cartesians. Um... 261 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,799 Cartesian just mean... 262 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:43,880 Actually, don't... 263 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,199 Don't worry about what Cartesian means, it just means... 264 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,960 BLOWING NOSE LOUDLY 265 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,479 ..of the philosopher Descartes. 266 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:59,079 Rene Descartes - 1596. 267 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,319 It's soul. 268 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,799 HE SIGHS 269 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,039 The first answer to what makes you you is your soul. 270 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:09,799 But that is not a... It's not a very satisfactory answer. 271 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,120 Um, what is a soul? 272 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,119 HE YAWNS 273 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,799 Do we even really have a soul? 274 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,199 I do. 275 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,639 - And so the other answer... - I've got a soul. 276 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,119 ..is matter. 277 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,959 - It's your... - How else would I have a relationship with 278 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,919 Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ? 279 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,799 ..body. It's your material, 280 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,879 and that is called materialism. 281 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,439 Um, but bodies change. 282 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,519 You know, your cells replace entirely every eight years, 283 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,959 and so materialism's no good either, right? 284 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,959 But then, um, Locke comes along and... 285 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,439 John Locke, John Locke. 286 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,759 And his key insight was memory. 287 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,799 Your memory connects... 288 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,159 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 289 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,439 That's no right. 290 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,720 - Excuse me? - That is not what Locke said. 291 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,999 John Locke was talking about consciousness. No fucking memory. 292 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,799 Which is a total load of bollocks, if you ask me. 293 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,119 So say ten years ago I stabbed someone, right? 294 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,519 And I've got a shitty brief and I get a 14 stretch - 295 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,559 well, according to Locke, the only reason this current me 296 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,999 is in prison is because of some ephemeral thing 297 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,519 called consciousness, which may or may not exist. 298 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,719 Well, how's that any different from the Cartesians, ya cunt? 299 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,559 Fuck you, Locke. 300 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,519 I'll take materialism all day. 301 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:30,919 Materialism's real. Materialism earns me my sentence. 302 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,240 That's if I stabbed someone ten years ago. 303 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,799 Which I did. 304 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,119 I'd like us to use this as a talking stick. 305 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,599 Um, a talking stick is... 306 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,719 We know what a fucking talking stick is. 307 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,039 See, I think we should be looking at Rousseau, all right? 308 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,079 Rousseau tears Locke a new arsehole on this stuff. 309 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:53,199 Have you read The Social Contract, that first line? 310 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,559 "Man is born free, yet everywhere he's in chains." 311 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,119 Now that's a fucking subject. 312 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:02,959 None of this fucking Lockean self-wank over "who am I?" bollocks. 313 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,919 I mean, grow the fuck up, man! 314 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,640 OK. Um... 315 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,640 SCATTERED CHUCKLES 316 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,520 - Oh, here we go. - You want to talk about freedom? 317 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,719 Ah! Ha-ha! The Odyssey. 318 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,599 Now, there's a story, boys. 319 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:27,560 So, Odysseus has to cross the Straight of Messina. 320 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:33,999 But on the rocks live the sirens - terrifying half-bird creatures who 321 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,439 sing a song so beautiful that any man who hears it becomes instantly 322 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,799 drunk with love and swims to them, 323 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,439 where the sirens feast on his flesh. 324 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,480 The sirens are crack. 325 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,479 MUTTERING 326 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,000 Mate, they even live on rocks. 327 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,919 To cross, Odysseus orders his men to put wax in their ears, 328 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,599 and he gets them to tie him to the mast 329 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,719 so that he can say when it's safe. 330 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,639 They set sail. 331 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:05,319 Odysseus hears the song and it reaches into his heart. 332 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:10,359 He begs to be untied, but the crew carry on. 333 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:16,599 All except one man, who sees the longing in Odysseus 334 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,160 and aches to know what it feels like. 335 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,640 The man takes his wax out, jumps overboard and is devoured alive. 336 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:30,879 So, there's the men with wax in their ears, there's Odysseus 337 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,120 and there's the man who jumped. 338 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,760 Who is the most free? 339 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,920 The men with wax in their ears. 340 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,130 Why? 341 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,480 Cos they just got on with it. 342 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,199 It's like us, right? 343 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,079 I've got freedoms that people on the out haven't. 344 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,799 Don't have to pay bills, don't have to go shopping, 345 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,959 don't even have to find a dentist. 346 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,679 I'm totally free of choice. 347 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:10,199 But doesn't your lack of choice mean that you're NOT free? 348 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,239 Two weeks ago, there was a lockdown. 349 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,359 23 hours a day bang-up, one-hour sosh. 350 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:17,399 Know what I did with my hour? 351 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,399 Stayed in me pad, sat on me bunk and read. 352 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,279 - Jesus. - Because I could. - That's depressing, man. 353 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,559 I'm not like yous, always clowning around. 354 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:26,999 - I focus. - You focus on what? 355 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,199 The jizz crusts clinging to your wall? 356 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,639 LAUGHTER 357 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,759 I focus on my daughter. 358 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,000 Hmm? I focus on being a dad. 359 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,999 Every day, I write her a letter. 360 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,839 One letter, every single day. 361 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,719 I want her to know that she's got a da that loves her. 362 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:53,999 Yeah, that's nice, Wallace, but you got to engage, man. 363 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,639 Freedom isn't hiding. 364 00:20:55,640 --> 00:21:00,959 OK. So, Junior, right? Who do you think is the most free? 365 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,359 Odysseus. 366 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,079 He's the king. 367 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,639 You know, people have no choice but to do what he says, yeah. 368 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:11,439 Them man with the wax in their ears, they're just foot soldiers. 369 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,399 Hear me? You have to rise and excel. 370 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,559 I agree with that, yeah. 371 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,319 Life's about being something, not waiting. 372 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,759 You're not even a dad - you don't know what life's about. 373 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,599 Yet. I'm not a dad, yet. 374 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,399 21-week scan. 375 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:27,840 My son. 376 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,199 Huh? I do know what life's about. 377 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,439 Junior borrowed me some of his business books. 378 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,439 Fucking amazing! 379 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,159 I'm going to provide for my boy. 380 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,559 Free your mind, free your circumstance, 381 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,039 then - free the cash. 382 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,559 Malik, though, that foetus is on the outside and you're in here. 383 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:47,719 For now. 384 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,759 My brief says I've got a very good chance of overturning sentencing. 385 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,119 I'll tell you all right now - I'll be holding my boy as he takes 386 00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:57,639 his first breath and, right there and then, I'ma write him a cheque 387 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:01,719 for �10 million to be cashed on his tenth birthday. 388 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,240 You haven't got a cheque book. 389 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,759 All right, a fucking postal order, then. 390 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,399 Yeah, one could look at it from 391 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:12,239 a neuroscientific perspective, you know. Quantum mechanics. 392 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,159 Zac, who do you think is most free? 393 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,319 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hold on. I've got the talking fucking bag. 394 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,119 Sorry. Zac. 395 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,439 Easy. It's the man what jumped. 396 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,279 - JUNIOR: - Yeah, but he was under a spell, Zac. 397 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,679 - ZAC: - Yeah, which he chose to give in to. 398 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,879 See, all the rest have either got wax in their ears or they're tied 399 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,479 to their sticks, yeah? You think that's freedom? Nah. 400 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,559 The jumper takes one look at the beautiful bird-women 401 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,039 and he says, "Fuck the consequence, I want that." 402 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,799 So, in that moment, he is free. 403 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,399 It's no wonder you're in a cell. 404 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,479 You're in a fucking cell as well, Wallace. 405 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,799 You ain't better than me. 406 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,919 He can't even decide what his addiction is. 407 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,199 What is it, meth? The crack? Or women? 408 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,439 It's cracks of women. 409 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:52,640 And crack. 410 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,640 THEY LAUGH 411 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,640 You madman! 412 00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:59,079 I'm doing a five-year remote learning course 413 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,599 on environmental construction. 414 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,239 - Environmental...? - Construction. 415 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,559 Me little girl, she did a paper for her exams all about 416 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,320 how to build in sustainable ways. 417 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,620 Got the paper up on me wall. 418 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,159 Proper little environmentalist, she is. 419 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,320 When I get out, I'm going to help her. 420 00:23:17,321 --> 00:23:20,959 You wouldn't believe the things you can do with straw these days. 421 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,679 HE SNICKERS 422 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:28,279 And you. You chat about loving rock, hmm? About loving pussy? 423 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,240 That's nowt compared to the love that a da for his daughter. 424 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,719 Yeah, man. We all got fucking daughters. 425 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,400 Fatherhood, that's real freedom. 426 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,040 But it's no fucking joke. 427 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,559 - KEITH: - Can you go into Tesco's and get a meal deal? 428 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,839 Well, you don't exactly need Bitcoin to spend �3, mate. 429 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,439 How do you know you've really got it, then? 430 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,479 How do you know you've got the money in your account right now? 431 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,519 - It's all digital. - Yeah, but how do you do it with Bitcoin, then? 432 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:02,799 It's not all about Bitcoin. 433 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,759 - ZAC: - Boss, how long's this break going to last? 434 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,199 - You got to think Solana, you got to think Ethereum, yeah. - It lasts as 435 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,759 - long as it lasts. - You need multiple accounts. You know this stuff 436 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,319 can get you each a Rolex in the next six months. Guaranteed. 437 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,919 Where's your Rolex, then? 438 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,879 It's waiting for me on the other side of endeavour. 439 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,599 Christ. I think I just threw up in my mouth. 440 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,719 You're going to have to sit tight. There's been an incident. 441 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,999 What, erm, sorry, what kind of incident? 442 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,639 Some idiot got served his divorce papers so he's jumped on the net. 443 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,479 We've got to wait for the tornado team. 444 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:31,039 OK, but I... I have to make a phone call. 445 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,279 Oh, wow. 446 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,540 Well, why didn't you say? 447 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,359 An idiot on the net shuts us down. 448 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,760 Look, I'm sorry, it's really important. 449 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:45,760 Wait here. 450 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,599 So what's it for? Philosophy? 451 00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:00,119 Oh, well, philosophy is, it's ancient Greek... 452 00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:03,799 No, but what can you do with it? What job do you have? 453 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:04,850 Well, this one. 454 00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:08,959 - KEITH: - I want to get change. 455 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,159 - JUNIOR: - So this money's in the cloud... 456 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,919 So who do you think is most free, in the Sirens story? 457 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,319 None of them. 458 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,679 That's why it's called free-dumb. 459 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,680 Only an idiot would believe in freedom. 460 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,839 - OFFICER: - Well? Are you coming? 461 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,080 Yes. Thank you. 462 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,080 LOUD VOICES 463 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,520 I'm free! 464 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,039 And you can fuck off. 465 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,439 You cancelled my visit. 466 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:43,760 Get me wife on the phone! 467 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,119 Make this quick, yeah? 468 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:56,280 If the tornado team gets antsy, you won't be able to get back in. 469 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,040 HE SIGHS 470 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,879 What you doing? 471 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,719 Sorry, the, um, the... 472 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,479 The switch was on. 473 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:54,799 They just called through. 474 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,119 They're closing the landing. 475 00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:57,920 You have to get back in there now. 476 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,919 Hi, it's Jess, leave a message. 477 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,399 Hey, Jess. It's me. It's Dan. 478 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,719 Look, I'm sorry that I didn't get to call earlier, there was... 479 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,520 ..there was someone on the net. 480 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,720 Look, I've, erm... I've got to go back in now. But, um... 481 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,960 ..don't do it. The implantation. 482 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:33,319 Please. Call them up and cancel it and do it with me instead. OK? 483 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,519 I'll meet you there at 3:15 and I'll do tests 484 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,639 and we can start the process together. 485 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,199 OK, I know this sounds mad. 486 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:44,250 But I... 487 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,560 I don't know, I mean this. I'm serious about it. 488 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:50,760 OK. 489 00:28:07,681 --> 00:28:10,679 Come on, come on, come on, come on! 490 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:11,730 What you doing? 491 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:15,840 BUZZER 492 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,639 Sorry. I had to do a thing. 493 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,519 Yeah. 494 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,160 ALARM BLARES 495 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,040 VOICES APPROACH 496 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,839 Yes, Dan. 497 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,999 - All right. - KEITH: - Oh, you came back? 498 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,520 Round two, here we go. 499 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,080 DOOR CLOSES, LOCK CLICKS 500 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,160 DAN CLEARS HIS THROAT 501 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:18,319 Zeus wanted to punish Epimetheus for giving fire to humans, 502 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:23,199 so he gave a beautiful box to his wife, Pandora. 503 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,200 She opened it and seven evils flew out. 504 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:32,439 Hatred, shame, greed, boredom, 505 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,760 laziness, delusion...and pain. 506 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,520 But then a voice inside called out. 507 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:45,479 Pandora opened it once again, 508 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:46,880 and hope... 509 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:49,530 ..flew out. 510 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:58,679 If you could put one evil back in the box, what would it be? 511 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,919 Hope. Fuck the evils! 512 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:02,639 Put hope back in the box. 513 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,040 Yeah, put it in right now. 514 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:08,080 You all right, Malik? 515 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,080 Just called my brief. 516 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,879 I lost my right to appeal. 517 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,440 What? How? 518 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,559 They didn't submit the paperwork on time. 519 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,679 But the date it had to be in by was 8/5/25. 520 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,239 8th of May. 521 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,679 But hear what, her new assistant's American. 522 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,839 - These pricks read dates backwards or something. - Oh! 523 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,719 What's 8/5/25 in American, then? 524 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,079 5th of August. 525 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,439 Too late. The appeal's dead. 526 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,359 What, that's just it? 527 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:40,560 Date's gone, Dan. 528 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,479 - That's not fair. - Fair? We are the dross. 529 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,199 Dan, that shit is standard. 530 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,799 I had like 12 minutes with my brief before we go in, yeah. 531 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,439 He says my name wrong three times. 532 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:51,919 Mine went into the wrong courtroom. 533 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,879 I feel like I...I just want to...fucking kill someone, you know? 534 00:30:55,880 --> 00:31:00,160 Like I just want to like beat someone's fucking, fucking face in. 535 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:08,719 Last year, I had, um... I had a parole hearing. 536 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,199 And I'd done everything right. 537 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,279 Was on every programme, kept my enhanced the whole stretch - 538 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:15,760 model con, I was. 539 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,080 It took six minutes. 540 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,160 "Nope." 541 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:23,840 So I went on hunger strike. 542 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,720 My hope was dead, see? 543 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:32,599 Then, after a couple of days, two kids on my landing, 544 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,560 they noticed I hadn't eaten, they brought a plate to my door. 545 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,000 And I started hoping again. 546 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,839 There's too many decent people around to not hope. 547 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,159 CHAIR CLATTERS 548 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:48,239 - Sit down. - Malik. You're still going to be a dad, OK? 549 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,519 They can't take that from you. You're still going to be a dad. 550 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:54,520 - Yeah? - They did fucking take it from me! 551 00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,919 Sanitised. 552 00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:01,240 You've sanitised it. 553 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,079 It reeks of Dettol, Dan, and you know it. 554 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:06,879 That is not the myth of Pandora. 555 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,599 I'm not sure this is the right time... 556 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,959 The earliest, most accepted version of the myth of Pandora 557 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,879 is found in Hesiod, who tells us it's Prometheus who steals fire. 558 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,239 Not Epimetheus. 559 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:19,159 - Look, I really don't think that... - And it's not what Pandora releases 560 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,879 that's the punishment, it's Pandora herself. 561 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,559 Pandora is the first woman fashioned of clay by the gods. 562 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:27,879 - WALLACE: - Clay's actually a very sustainable building material. 563 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:29,839 What the fuck has that got to do with anything? 564 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,759 What Dan so assiduously omits is that Pandora 565 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,719 is made of the self-same clay that the jar is made of. 566 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,759 - What jar? - The jar with the spirits in. 567 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,879 - You said they were in a box. - Were they fuck in a box! 568 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,439 Right, well, no, box is a mistranslation, 569 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,519 but people commonly refer to it as, as... 570 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,599 Boss, if it's a jar, just say it's a jar. 571 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,279 The vessel doesn't matter, Junior. It's what's inside that counts. 572 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,479 Only, the vessel does matter, though, doesn't it, Dan? 573 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,639 Because a jar is made of clay, and a box is not. 574 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,479 - WALLACE: - Very low on carbon emissions, as well, clay. 575 00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:58,839 Trounces concrete. 576 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,159 It ain't that kind of clay, Wallace! 577 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,959 Dan is deliberately choosing to sell us the false version. 578 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,719 - False. - OK, right. Why am I doing that, Keith? 579 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,079 Because of what the myth is really saying. 580 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:13,439 The jar and Pandora are one and the same, ergo it says woman 581 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,199 is the cause of all man's ills. 582 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,759 OK, you think I'm scared to debate women with you? 583 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,199 I think you've been inculcated by the mores of the current 584 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:24,079 political clime and, all due respect, I think you're a coward. 585 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:25,959 You don't know anything about me. 586 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,519 Your fucking hair tells me all I need to know about you, pal. 587 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,160 THEY CHUCKLE 588 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,159 OK, all right. 589 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,359 So you think that woman are responsible for the ills of society? 590 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:36,439 Well, take a look at these boys here, hmm? 591 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:39,279 Do you think any of them's inside because they weren't on some level 592 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,119 trying to impress a girl? 593 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,720 That cunt there wants to kill. 594 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,840 Did you not get the memo, Daniel? 595 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,120 We're all toxic. 596 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:53,279 We're a gender in retreat and we in here, the most mannish of men, 597 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,079 we're the sharp end - our relevance evaporating whilst 598 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,079 we shank each other in the showers. 599 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,079 And you want to come here and start talking about spirits and ghosties? 600 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,439 I mean, you're wanking while Rome burns, man. 601 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,759 You're fucking killing us! 602 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:06,079 What me, personally, or...? 603 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,910 Well, I don't blame women. They're taking what's theirs. 604 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,520 It's the likes of you. 605 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:18,799 With your oat milks and your moisturised elbows, 606 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,919 waxing your arseholes, keeping your balls all nice and shiny. 607 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:23,559 CHUCKLING 608 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,399 You deny your masculinity. You're terrified of it. 609 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,239 Tell me, Dan - do you cover your eyes when you take a piss? 610 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:33,359 Look, OK. All right. Look, Keith, have I said something to upset you? 611 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,839 You are rippling with shame, man! 612 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,879 Appalled by that undeniable hard-wired instinct deep within 613 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,319 your soul that just wants you to roll around 614 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,039 in a big pile of fucking titties. 615 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:44,479 Now we are talking! 616 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,759 OK, you want to talk about women? OK. 617 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,239 In ancient Greece, women couldn't vote, they couldn't own land, 618 00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:51,799 they couldn't inherit, they could legally be murdered for infidelity. 619 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,359 And then that society has the gall to create a myth blaming them 620 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,159 for all the world's ills. And that society is where ours comes from. 621 00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,159 So, yeah, Keith, undoing that, I'm all for it. 622 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,999 Oh, lovely, Daniel. What a wonderful human being you are. 623 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,399 I mean, give the man a pickle. 624 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,479 Turns out he's an expert on Greek society, 625 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,119 yet he can't remember that a box is a fucking jar! 626 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:09,559 You wanted a debate about women. 627 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,000 No, no, no, no. You did. 628 00:35:11,001 --> 00:35:16,279 You're the one who brought in Pandora, you brought in the sirens. 629 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,799 What are you trying to force on us here, hmm? 630 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,559 The future has a vaginal tint? 631 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,039 We should all go and fucking kill ourselves, is that it? 632 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,680 Cos that's all I hear these days. 633 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,439 "Don't be you. 634 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:30,440 "Don't be you. Don't be you. Just... 635 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:32,890 "..don't be you." 636 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,479 Well, what the fuck should I be?! 637 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,520 Eh? 638 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,679 Women have got us on the ropes, and good luck to them, they deserve it. 639 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:48,199 But you see, when I get a battering, I punch back. 640 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,079 - WALLACE: - Excellent insulation properties as well, clay. 641 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:51,959 Excellent. And, of course, the thing about insulation... 642 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,879 This ain't about your fucking daughter, Wallace! 643 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,919 Aye, it is! He's talking shit about women, what the fuck 644 00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,079 do you think my little girl's going to grow into? 645 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,319 Grow into? She's already a grown-arse woman. 646 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,799 That's what she already is! She's already a grown-arse woman. 647 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,439 We all know that! "Little girl." 648 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,159 She hasn't been a little girl in years. 649 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,239 We've all seen the essay up on your wall, yeah? 650 00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:12,839 It's been up there for donkeys. 651 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,399 A tatty fucking thing it is, yeah. 652 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:16,959 You write every day, big man, yeah? 653 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,199 - He's writing to his little girl. - OK, um... 654 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,119 You write it, she don't read it. 655 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,679 - Zac. - Not once has she sent you anything back. 656 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,319 What is she, like 25 now? 28? 657 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,119 She wrote that for her fucking GSCEs, Wallace! 658 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,479 She's forgot about that crap now! 659 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,720 Just like she forgot about you rotting here. 660 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,040 Dead to her. 661 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,679 What? Don't you fucking dare! 662 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,719 Argh! 663 00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:48,599 - Fuckin' hell, man! - Fucking...! 664 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,079 Argh! 665 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,720 Your boot's leaking, boss. 666 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:54,759 Is that blood? Is that blood?! 667 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,119 Is that blood?! 668 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,400 It's your blood, Daniel. 669 00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,320 You've ripped off a toenail. 670 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:06,879 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 671 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:08,519 I can see the bone. 672 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:09,999 Oh, you're going to need stitches. 673 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:11,240 - Oh, my God! - Hmm. 674 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,359 OK, look, I, um, I need to be somewhere. 675 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:19,600 AandE's where you need to be. 676 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:19,599 DOOR OPENS 677 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,039 All right, circus is over. 678 00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:23,959 Come on, the rest of you, back to your cells. 679 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,759 - KEITH: - Well, I have to say, I really enjoyed that. 680 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,000 Same time next week. 681 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,800 Box is another word for fanny. 682 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:34,839 Pandora's fanny. 683 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:38,599 Nobody mentioned it, but that could play into the whole female thing. 684 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,599 Come on, lads, let's have you. 685 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:42,000 What's the right answer? 686 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,359 Which one of the spirits go back in the box? 687 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,230 - Come on. - There isn't a right answer. 688 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,350 Then what's the point in asking the fucking question?! 689 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:56,440 DAN SIGHS 690 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:02,160 OFFICER CHUCKLES 691 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:09,879 Look, I do... I do really need to be somewhere. 692 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,039 You need stitches. I'm checking you out, then I'm taking you to AandE. 693 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,479 - Is that the boss' new boyfriend?! - Can't you just patch it up? 694 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,039 No, I cannot just patch it up. 695 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,879 WOLF WHISTLE 696 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:21,000 All right, hang on a minute, wait. Just...just hold on. I, um... 697 00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,760 OK, I need to be at an IVF clinic. 698 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,719 It's to donate semen. I think. 699 00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:33,760 - You think? - Yeah. 700 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:36,639 It's... It's complicated. 701 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,920 I need... I need to make a phone call, and then... 702 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,119 I don't know. Oh, fucking hell, I don't know. 703 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,519 I'll tell you what, I'll take you to your phone. 704 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:49,959 You make the call, hmm? 705 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,159 If you need to be at the clinic, I'll take you there. 706 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,920 Once you've flung it out, then I'll take you to AandE. 707 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,399 Then a psychiatrist. 708 00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,080 Then a fucking life coach or something, I don't know. 709 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,399 Son. 710 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,919 Dad, Daddy, Dad! 711 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,000 Aw, I've missed you! 712 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:01,760 LINE RINGS 713 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,519 - Dan. - Jess. 714 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:10,039 Hey, look, I'm really sorry that we... 715 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:11,759 ..that we didn't get to speak. 716 00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,080 It's, um... 717 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,399 It's been a bit mad, to be honest. 718 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:17,599 It's OK. 719 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,879 No, honestly, Jess, I'm... 720 00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:21,399 I'm really sorry. 721 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:22,679 It's OK. Really. 722 00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:26,679 No. It's not. That's not what I'm apologising for. 723 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:27,730 I, um... 724 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:33,960 I don't think I can be a dad. 725 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,039 I'm sorry. 726 00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:38,599 I'm not ready. 727 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:39,999 You're not ready? 728 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,800 Yeah, um... 729 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:47,210 Jess? 730 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,120 But you left a message. 731 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,679 You said to cancel the implantation. 732 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,199 {\an8}- You know they don't just put it back in the freezer, right? - Oh, fuck me. 733 00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,999 {\an8}You know cancelling is destroying? 734 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,320 {\an8}Yeah. Look, um... 735 00:41:02,321 --> 00:41:06,039 {\an8}Jess, I'm so sorry. I really haven't meant to mess you around here. 736 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,560 {\an8}I just think... I think that, um... 737 00:41:08,561 --> 00:41:12,439 {\an8}I think that maybe you're right. You know, maybe it's got 738 00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,399 {\an8}something to do with my brother or something like that, you know? 739 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,200 {\an8}Um... Yeah. 740 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:25,199 {\an8}Jess, I'm so sorry. 741 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,400 You're fucking sorry. 742 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,400 SHE SCOFFS 743 00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,080 I had the implantation. 744 00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:36,559 What? 745 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,199 Yeah, there was a cancellation. 746 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:40,799 They called and said, if I was in by ten, I could have the slot. 747 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:43,120 It was all done and dusted by 10:20. 748 00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,959 {\an8}So it's in there now? The athlete's...? 749 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,600 {\an8}It's not his, Dan - it's mine. 750 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:03,600 Can I just ask... 751 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:05,760 ..why didn't you want me? 752 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,679 It's not that I don't want you. 753 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,279 It's that I don't need you. 754 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:13,330 LINE BEEPS 755 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:40,720 You coming? 756 00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:46,119 Hey, you bleed in my fucking car 757 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,590 and I'm cutting open that other foot. You hear me? 758 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,279 Thanks for being with me here today. 759 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,359 I really, I really appreciate you doing this. 760 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,999 It's all right. I mean, I couldn't let you come here alone. 761 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,919 Well, that's very, that's very kind... 762 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,199 No, no, I mean I COULDN'T let you come here alone. 763 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:14,440 I'm not allowed to. 764 00:43:14,441 --> 00:43:17,719 You bled in the prison, I was the officer on scene, 765 00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:19,760 it's my name on the accident report. 766 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,120 Sorry you're not going to be a dad. 767 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,279 Yeah. Probably for the best. 768 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:38,679 My dad was a nightmare. 769 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:40,399 I probably shouldn't pass that on. 770 00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,439 Nightmare how? 771 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,559 A lot of time in prison, for one. 772 00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,679 - Really?! - Mm. 773 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,679 So how comes you're like... 774 00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:49,730 ..this? 775 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:53,240 A fucking philosopher, Dan. 776 00:43:55,960 --> 00:44:00,639 Well, my mum left him when I was nine, 777 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:03,120 she re-married and... 778 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,080 ..I got away from him. Y'know, I got out. 779 00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:11,720 Ended up doing this. 780 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,159 You were totally shit today. 781 00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:19,439 You got the men all riled up, 782 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,999 didn't have any control that I could see and then you bled on the floor. 783 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,400 I mean, you actually bled on the floor. 784 00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:31,080 But they liked what you did. 785 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:33,760 They liked the lesson. 786 00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,039 They can't say that they did, but... 787 00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:38,240 ..they did. 788 00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:43,080 You don't need these, OK? Next time, just wear trainers. 789 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,560 Do you still see your dad now? 790 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:56,719 No. 791 00:44:56,720 --> 00:44:58,120 No, I don't see him any more. 792 00:44:58,170 --> 00:45:02,720 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0